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Gattaca

julian — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 07:29:30 +0000

A 1997 Sci-fi movie. Amazingly it is still a good watch today. How can I miss a movie like this…All the emotion, the hard work, the dream, the desire… It just amazing. And I like the ending…Not a perfect happy ending but that’s what make it…real?

“You want to know how I did it? This is how I did it, I never saved anything for the swim back.”, maybe there is no swim back at all. We just keep swimming forward. What are you saving for? I am all in.

I want to cry…

julian — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 10:04:06 +0000

And I really want to cry…
This is soul sucking, the only one can help me is myself.

I know I will make it. I still have faith in myself.

My Littile Lover – 風と空のキリム

あなたに会えたことがいちばん
今まででうれいと思った
かんしょの緑が揺れる音の
その先に沈む夕日を見た時

いい事だけの空気を吸おうよ
いらないものは待たないでいいよ
多分全部は無理だと知ってる
だけど希望が込み上げてきてる

どうして光さしてくるの
訳もしれずに涙こぼれる
あなたのことを感じる全てで
からだをとりまいてる空気まで

海が夕日でざわついてきたら
高まるこころポケットに詰めて
今日はここを離れて行くけど
イメージの中には花が咲いた

どうして人は生きて行くの
問いかけてたら涙にじんだ
あなたのことを感じる全てで
からだをとりまいてる空気まで

かんしょの海が手をふってた

A good run reading on Zed Shaw

julian — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 10:47:25 +0000

First time encounter Zed Shaw from a post in HN, http://learnpythonthehardway.org/book/advice.html
Then I find another post from Zed about “Rails Is A Ghetto” and read on. http://www.zedshaw.com.sharedcopy.com/rants/51489cec9386f7c13f69b3a58cd50b02.html

Techcrunch had a post about it: http://techcrunch.com/2008/01/01/zed-shaw-puts-the-smack-down-on-the-rails-community/

look at the comments in TC make me sick. Bunch of moron. They are basically saying as long as you are a team player, we will still happy to have you even you write 500 lines of bad code a day. If you are not a team player, we ditch you for writing 250 lines of good code a day.

I would like some one to hit me on the face for any mistake I make. They are just weak, so fucking weak.

Waiting and waiting.

julian — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:43:25 +0000

There is like fire burning in my heart, ghost eating my soul and it hurts more day after day. The harder I push or fight back, more painful it become. If step back and calm down is the best thing I can do…Then I shall do it. But I am just holding it, I will fight back when the time come. I will free myself from this haunted prison. As long as there is hope, keep trying and I will find what I wanted.

Answer for my career?

julian — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 03:41:40 +0000

There is one thing stuck in my mind recently. I met a man in an occasion, he told an idea and said “This is going to work, as it empower people.” This statement is spinning in my head. Look at myself, WTF I am doing day in day out. I feel so sad about myself. As an engineer, we have the ability to create, what should we do? If you can empower people, you cannot loss.

Look at the companies around us, who are doing the right thing? A lot of startups become a joke. Money blinded a lot of people, so am I.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it

julian — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 04:24:48 +0000

I easily suffer from the problem that giving up on a half done project, feel that my idea is not good enough, no one is going to use it, it is too small…etc.

But then I saw the quote from ghandi at svg-wow, (quite a geeky way to discover quotes….) http://svg-wow.org/gandhi-quotes/gandhi-quotes.xhtml, (best on webit-base browser, sad that FF 3.6 didn’t render it perfect)

“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it”
Hell yea, why would I care, even I just got one user I am still doing something for good.

What would you do if you are not afraid?

julian — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 01:18:00 +0000

My coworker just printed some random stuff and sticking them in the cubicles. One of it reads “What would you do if you are not afraid?” and I shouted it out “QUIT!”. Quit the damn thing and crack something real.

Feel so sorry and pathetic to my timid soul for not able to do it.

note to myself

julian — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 00:55:30 +0000

A brief good read on speed, latency, and throughput inside the compuer

http://duartes.org/gustavo/blog/post/what-your-computer-does-while-you-wait

When I stumble upon a cemetery while biking, I think of this song

julian — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 22:14:45 +0000

Cocco – Blue Bird
src: http://ourtimehascome.blogspot.com/2006/07/dj-ing-cocco-blue-bird.html
lyrics & music: cocco

go round and round
move in a spiral
around again
and reach you

go round and round
a bird is singing
that calls for blue wind

I hold it which I haven’t seen
the softly…new sin
but someday I will
surely…with my dirty hands

lead me
when the moment of my end arrives
I wish
these eyes will open wide

please see the end of me
please see the end of me

please see and kill me, please

add ground to the earth
fill it up with the ocean
where do we sprinkle our own bones?
and where are we going?

there are days that I want to protect
though there are some oaths about things,
I can’t keep my dreams…
now…past…and you

if you let me…if I lose
there is no deceit
and I wish I can exist
surely I’ll take you… I’ll take you…

lead me
when the moment of my end arrives
I wish
these eyes will open wide

please see the end of me
please see the end of me

please see and kiss me, please

burning asphalt stings my bare feet
i don’t care to jump out of here
but I want to see you
tomorrow again

lead me
when the moment of my end comes
I wish
these eyes will open wide
I believe it
someday…surely
I’ll reach you

I can’t heal everything
but I’ll
take them and you

It’s not about how hard you hit, but how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done

julian — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 23:15:08 +0000

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place… and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain’t about how hard you hit… It’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward… how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ain´t what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain´t you! You´re better than that!”

I am a bit too far to do something, but I hope you can take it and move on.